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Q: What are the only two things in the universe that naturally go faster than the speed of light?
A: A trial on K'ung Fu-Tzu.
Q: And?
A: The execution afterward.
Old joke, common to every system in the Daedalus Matrix.
The Great Hall of P'u Yi — what the K'ung called the older and smaller of their two stargates — was massive and elaborate, featuring a wall with 20 meter tall windows made of a transparent ceramic material reported to be 50 centimeters thick. The stargate station itself was considered small by later standards - only about 500 meters in diameter, and built as a solid structure rather than the dispersed structure or coordinated substations that characterized later stations.
Of course, when it was built in the year 185 of the Matrix Calendar, P'u Yi was a state of the art mark 3 stargate facility, featuring one of the first mark 3 Mythras-class anima produced. The station's Mythras could hold the coordinates for three destinations anywhere in the visible universe in memory simultaneously without the need for recalculation and reprogramming, allowing the stargate to cycle through its destinations at regular intervals. For that reason alone, K'ung Fu-Tzu became a major hub in the early centuries of the Great Matrix.
The world itself was beautiful, a perfect example of one of the few terrestrial worlds found that was almost completely Earth-like and compatible with Earth's biology without the need for any terraforming.
The first colonies on K'ung Fu-Tzu were sponsored by one of the great nation-states of Ancient Earth, China, at the time — the late-23rd century on the old Common Era calendar — a nation long known for both the resilience and determination of its people and the willingness of its government to use whatever methods required to crush any form of dissent in order to exercise absolute control of its populace. For their own good, of course.
The Great Hall of P'u Yi was used as a terminal, in those days, allowing all the people of the Great Matrix who travelled through the system to mingle and stand before the great windows looking down on the jewel of K'ung Fu-Tzu and be awed by both Chinese wealth and Chinese resolve.
Bram considered that as he stood in the center of the Great Hall, which was mostly empty except for the K'ung official seated at a broad, deep table made of what looked like real wood, Kaelyn Caractacus, president of the local chapter of the independent craft operators consortium and, projected before the K'ung official, a holo-icon of Angie.
Bram knew that he should actually be grateful, as it had only been six days standard since he had flown Enlightened Angel through P'u Yi's aperture surrounded by the remnants of 12 self-destructed point-defense remotes and two simply destructed pirate point craft, and the last vestiges of the fiery byproduct of all that destruction before vacuum killed it. He'd had barely enough time to deliver his cargo, dock with the station, arrange repairs and submit the insurance claims before he was summoned to appear before a magistrate of K'ung Fu-Tzu Stargate Control. He had operated in the K'ung Fu-Tzu system enough to know that the personnel of Stargate Control were, to a person, anal retentive about enforcing their regulations. That also went for infractions hearings; the K'ung were breathtakingly tough, but also scrupulously fair.
Angie had been answering questions about the incident on the Tristan side of the stargate for nearly an hour. Although it wasn't possible, Angie actually appeared nervous the evening before.
"Here," Angie had said, her holo-icon popping on in the middle of Bram's bathroom as he was trying to get ready for bed. "What do you think of this one?"
The long red hair and bright green eyes were there - they always were — but Angie's holo-body looked as if someone had taken a heavy worlder and cinched her waist to the point of not being able to breath — short and exaggeratedly round all over.
"A bit cartoonish, maybe?" Bram said as he continued to trim his beard. She got like this sometimes; it was best to just get on with his life until it was over.
"Yeah, but look at the bazoombas," she said, straightening her posture and thrusting out her chest. If she'd been a real woman instead of a holo-icon, Bram would have had to lower the artificial gravity in the room just to keep her from falling over. "Guys like bazoombas, right?"
"Sure, guys like bazoombas," Bram replied, wiping beard trimmings away. "But they generally like real bazoombas, not, you know, cartoons."
"Oh, poo," Angie said, pouting.
"And our magistrate might not be a guy. She might be a gal."
"Might be a gal that likes gals."
"Might be a guy that likes guys."
"Hmmm," Angie said, touching her temple and looking up as if deep in thought. "I don't usually do guys, but I've got a few templates stored away somewhere. I'm sure I could put something together."
"Have you even considered the possibility of just using your standard body?" Bram asked, almost rhetorically.
"What? This old thing?" In a flash, the holo-icon refreshed, and the cartoonish figure was replaced by what looked like a perfectly average young woman from Beowulf. Well, maybe she wasn't perfectly average — animus programmers knew their target market, after all, but if Angie's standard body was slightly voluptuous, especially in the sprayed on trousers and two-sizes-too-small shirt, it was still well within the realm of real, non-genetically modified human.
"That old thing," Bram replied. "It's a classic."
So, Bram thought, standing in the Great Hall of P'u Yi, he wasn't sure how Angie had decided to wear the long, thin body of a zero-g spacer, with feet gengineered for grasping like a hand. He especially wasn't sure why she was dressed in a pink body stocking with a rainbow-colored feather boa wrapped around her neck several times. Well, at least she had kept the red hair and green eyes. It's good to have traditions.
The magistrate had been speaking with Angie for sometime. Bram thought it might be a good idea to listen at least to the rest.
" . . . And then, it is your testimony that your company's cargo specialist —"
"Tobias Santana," Angie said.
"Tobias Santana," the magistrate echoed. He was a young man, not much older than Angie's holo-icon image would be if she were real, dressed in the stiff brown and black uniform of K'ung Fu-Tzu Stargate Control. His face, though, had a pinched quality — a crease between his eyebrows, frown lines already developing around his mouth. The magistrate had all the look of someone who was carefully cultivating an expression of official disapproval. "And it is your testimony that Cargo Specialist Santana deliberately impacted the two alleged pirate craft with the remains of your complement of point-defense remotes as Commander Ravenscraft piloted the spacecraft designated Enlightened Angel, Daedalus Matrix Independent Spacecraft Consortium registration STA-099-OV-99, to intercept and dock with a linked train of six standard large cargo canisters — one more than for which STA-099-OV-99 is safety rated — as the craft, cargo, debris from the point-defense remotes and alleged pirate craft all entered the stargate aperture, returning to K'ung Fu-Tzu space."
"That's correct," Angie answered.
"You, yourself," the magistrate continued, "You are a Dian Cecht-class animus, is that correct?"
"Yes, sir," Angie answered. "Dian Cechts are common on craft constructed at Beowulf."
The magistrate nodded and made a note in his tablet. "As I understand it, an animus of your sophistication should have no problem operating a craft such as STA-099-OV-99 by itself. Indeed, I understand animus-piloted craft are not uncommon on routine trade routes."
Uh-oh, Bram thought. He could see where this like of questioning was going.
"The run to Tristan isn't routine," Angie responded. "As our encounter with pirate craft proved."
"Yes, that's true," the magistrate conceded. "However, wouldn't it have been more efficient and safer to allow you to control the craft during such an attack rather than leaving it to humans, who are, however skilled, still only human."
Bram must have been displaying some sign of anxiety, because Kaelyn gently touched his arm. Interrupting a magistrate during testimony would be considered rude at best.
"Under some circumstances," Angie said, "that would be true. However, on a run into unknown, unpatrolled territory such as the Tristan system, it is common practice for a craft's commander to take manual control rather than relying on the craft's animus."
"And why is that?"
"For all the sophistication an animus possesses," Angie continued, "we're really only complex computer programs. I can juggle many factors, apply any number of strategic and tactical methodologies to deal with whatever situation may come up, but that requires that I have some applicable methodology in my libraries. Anima — including myself — cannot create anything new, cannot imagine as a human does. We are not sentient, self-aware beings with emotions or imagination. We're just sophisticated programs. And while that is terribly useful in many applications, the truth is that it is often better to allow humans to apply imagination and instinct to a problem."
"So, you're saying that you could not have defended your craft as effectively as Commander Ravenscraft did?" the magistrate asked.
"I doubt if I could have defended us at all," Angie replied. "My programming does not allow me to take offensive action against humans, even in self-defense. The limitations of my programming would have allowed me only to make a run for the stargate aperture and perhaps fire the sandcasters. Those limitations would certainly have resulted in our capture by the pirates. As it is a reasonable assumption that the pirates were interested in capturing the craft Enlightened Angel, that would have almost certainly resulted in the human company being killed, probably pushed out an airlock. A variety of reports of other similar attacks in the Tristan system over the past 25 years show a similar pattern of predation."
The magistrate nodded and made more notes. "So, the ability of the ship's animus to control STA-099-OV-99 had been disabled. Was this done before or after the craft translated to the Tristan system?"
"After," Angie replied. "K'ung Fu-Tzu Stargate Control regulation 36.18.256.215.873 clearly states that all craft operating in K'ung Fu-Tzu space must either be controlled by the craft's animus or allow the craft's animus to control the craft in an emergency. After we passed through the stargate to Tristan, thus passing out of K'ung Fu-Tzu space, Commander Ravenscraft deactivated my control of Enlightened Angel."
"And when was your control of the craft reactivated?"
"Just before we passed through the stargate aperture," Angie replied. "After we redocked with the cargo train, Commander Ravenscraft initiated a routine that reset the craft's systems to conform to K'ung Fu-Tzu regulations."
"Of course," the magistrate said, "the craft's log will agree with your testimony."
"Of course," Angie replied. "That's the way it happened."
Again, the magistrate nodded and made notes. "Very good. Is there anything else that you would like to add to your testimony?"
"No. To the best of my ability, my testimony is complete and accurate."
"Very good, then. You are excused from these proceedings."
With a nod and glance back at Bram, Angie's holo-icon winked out. The magistrate continued to write in his table for several minutes, long enough for Bram to start to get antsy. The high, stiff collar of his long, formal, K'ung Fu-Tzu-style great coat constricted both his ability to breath and to move his head. A lock of his long hair had managed to work free from the hair tie in the back in spite of not being able to move his head, and was hanging rather uncomfortably in front of his left eye. Bram wanted to tie it back, but felt rather exposed in the Great Hall. Besides, the K'ung never fidgeted that he had ever seen.
"Commander Ravenscraft," the magistrate said at last. "Would you approach the bench, please."
Bram stepped over to the table, accompanied by Kaelyn.
"Are you accompanied by counsel, Commander Ravenscraft?" the magistrate asked.
"I am, sir."
"Counsel, please identify yourself for the record."
"Kaelyn Caractacus, magistrate," she said. "I am the president of the K'ung Fu-Tzu chapter of the Daedalus Matrix Independent Spacecraft Consortium, of which Commander Ravenscraft is a member in good standing."
"Very good," the magistrate said, making another note. "Commander, would you identify yourself for the record, please."
"My name is Abraham Lincoln Despiritus Ravenscraft. I am the sole owner and commander of the spacecraft Enlightened Angel, Daedalus Matrix Independent Spacecraft Consortium registration STA-099-OV-99."
"May I ask your world of origin, Commander?"
Bram squinted, and felt his face grown taunt. "Is that required?"
"Not technically," the magistrate answered. "I prefer to be complete, however."
Kaelyn gave Bram a sideways glance, but he still took several moments before he finally answered.
"Beowulf," Bram said at last. "I'm originally from Beowulf."
"I see," the magistrate said. "But you no longer operate from that system?"
"No, I don't."
"May I ask why?"
Again, Bram considered the question a while before answering.
"Political reasons," he said, finally. "I had some disagreements with the current . . . administration."
More nodding, more notes. "And how long has it been since you were there?"
"It's been — what? — 17 years standard since I left, 934 mc."
"And you have had a roving base of operations since then?"
Bram shrugged. "Pretty much. You go where the work is. One system is pretty much the same as any other. My home is on Angel."
Again, the magistrate nodded and took notes. Bram was being to wonder whether he was a holo-icon on some sort of loop.
Finally, the magistrate looked up, and sat up into that official posture common to bureaucrats around the universe.
"Commander Ravenscraft," the magistrate announced formally. "Concerning the incident occurring on day standard 135 of the Matrix calendar year standard 951, I have taken statements from the craft's company members, including yourself, Cargo Specialist Tobias Santana, Systems Engineer Dakota North and craft's animus designated 'Angie.' Other evidence presented includes the craft's log of the events in question, provided by the craft's animus, and the sensor logs from K'ung Fu-Tzu Stargate Control on P'u Yi for the period in question.
"In my capacity as magistrate investigating this incident, I have reviewed all the statements and found them to be consistent with each other, as well as with the other evidence.
"Therefore, on this day standard 143 of the Matrix calendar year standard 951, I declare that Commander Abraham Lincoln Despiritus Ravenscraft to have been in compliance of all K'ung Fu-Tzu Stargate Control regulations on the date in question — with the exception of one."
At first, Bram felt a sense of relief, but then the magistrate had to add that last bit. It's always something, he thought.
"According to the testimony of both your company's cargo specialist and craft's animus, the craft STA-099-OV-99 was towing a train of six standard large cargo containers on the date in question, passing with this train from Tristan space into K'ung Fu-Tzu space. The craft in question, of non-standard design, was rated to tow a train no larger than five standard large cargo containers."
"Magistrate," Kaelyn spoke up. She could see where this was going, as well as Bram could. "Surely the number of cargo canisters is not a relevant issue. After all, Commander Ravenscraft was the aggrieved party in the incident. There was no damage to the K'ung Fu-Tzu stargate nor any craft in nearby space, nor was there a disruption of stargate service."
"All true, M. Caractacus," the magistrate replied. "However, operating an overloaded craft is a violation of Stargate Control regulations. Commander Ravenscraft, I must inform you that, because of this violation, you are barred from operating the craft STA-099-OV-99 within K'ung Fu-Tzu space for a period of one year standard. For this reason, you are required to leave K'ung Fu-Tzu space no later than day standard 153 of the Matrix calendar year standard 951. Do you understand these requirements as I have stated them to you."
"Is there no chance to appeal?" Bram asked.
"No," the magistrate replied. "My ruling in this matter is final. I apologize if it is an inconvenience, but the regulations are quite clear on this matter."
With a nod and terse courtesies, the magistrate gathered up his tablet and walked away, his footsteps echoing in the vast, empty space.
"Shit," Bram said at last, quietly. "Shit, shit, shit."
"Bram, I'm very sorry," Kaelyn said, her hand gently on his shoulder. "I know you've been operating out of K'ung Fu-Tzu for a long time."
"Shit, shit, shit!" Bram replied, his voice getting a bit louder. "Shit, shit, shitty shit, shit!"
"Bram, please."
"Please? Please what?" Bram snapped. "Is this what being a member in good standing of the Daedalus Matrix Independent Spacecraft Consortium gets me? Sympathy?"
Kaelyn's face grew hard. "It got you a one-year sentence," she said. "It was well within the magistrate's discretion to ban you from the system permanently. And it will also get you some consideration on your insurance claims. Crashing your own PDRs, even in self defense, might not be considered 'regular use.' "
Bram nodded and threw up his hands in surrender. "You're right, you're right, you're right. Sorry, Kaelyn. It's just, well, I don't have any jobs lined up anywhere else right now."
"Nothing on Gilgamesh? That's where your cargo specialist is from, right?"
"Yes, he lives on Gilgamesh, but doesn't have a lot of contacts in the consortium there," Bram said. "There's a reason he signed on to Angel, Kaelyn. You know how it is."
Kaelyn nodded grimly. Suddenly, however, her face brightened. "You know, Bram, I might be able to help you out a bit."
"Yeah?" Bram said. "That would be great if you could, Kaelyn. I'd owe you big."
"Don't say that until you hear what the job is," Kaelyn said. "Meet me in my office tomorrow at 0900. I'll tell you what I have in mind then."
January 24, 2010
Stories copyright © 2009–2010 the individual authors. All other material copyright © 2009–2010 the Pulp Engine Collective.